Student 33

(question 5) In your own words, describe your self-portrait and the style of art it represents. Please try to explain your use of line, shape, color and texture and what is conveys to you.

My self-portrait was made in levels. The first level, or drawer, was lined with aluminum foil. Often, when people first meet me, I act the way I think I should around them, and I often reflect what they want me to be. Inside I put round m&m's and beads of all colors. The circles represent my completeness and unity with the people around me. The different colors show the different emotions I have. Although I like to have fun, I also have a serious and passionate side of me that a lot of people seem to see. I had a big square in the top drawer with circles and wavy lines on it (red, yellow, and white). The circles again represent unity the wavy lines show that I go with the flow--I'm an excited person, but I also kind of run with whatever happens. The square it's on represents the fact that I seem to be a pretty together person I'm in touch with myself and I feel like I'm down to earth and connected with the world around me. The "easter grass" is iridescent, and thus reflects the colors around me (for the same reason I have aluminum foil). Underneath everything is a picture of a clock. For people to get to the second level of myself, I have to spend time with them in different places and situations. They have to wade through all the other stuff to get to the clock, and then work through time for me to allow them into the second level of myself. The second drawer is lined with wax paper. It's not transparent, but it's not clear what is inside. I drew spirals of red and green all around the outside to represent the change I go through and the growth I have experienced in my life. Once inside, the lining is blue and beige. It's still the same "easter grass", but the colors are muted and represent my soft side. I feel like I'm down to earth and levelheaded (most of the time!!) Flowers in the drawer represent life and growth--after all, I'm a pretty lively person. There is a transparent sheet with squares of different colors on it. This represents again my stability and unity with the world around me, on all levels. There are two ropes with knots in them these knots represent things that happen or have happened in my life that I have had to work through (one finds out what they are the same way they get to the second level...time. There is a creation of words and all the preferential shapes, representing my spirituality and growth in that aspect. The colors, lines, and shapes present for close friends the changes I've been through and the different things my Heavenly Father is for me. Below all the grass is a collage of hands, lips, and an eye. This is another key, this time to the bottom and most intimate level of myself. At this point, when someone gets to know me better, to be able to get to the innermost layer of me, there has to be a sharing. The best way to do that is through conversation and eye contact is big for me. In the bottom level, the drawer is lined in black. It is opaque, and it still shows my down-to-earth side. On the outside are equidistant crosses that represent the crossroads I have in my life and those I have had in the past. Inside the drawer is lined at the bottom with red tissue paper. I'm pretty passionate, and I can be harsh at times...but tissue paper is soft if you work with it enough. There is a cookie monster figure in the middle which represents the trials I had to go through when my mother passed away in high school. There are triangles all inside, but the ones around the cookie monster are upside down these represent the fact that although I am stable sometimes and I know what it takes to be that way, I'm not always as stable as I could be. There are black lightning bolts--I have a lot of energy, but they also represent a lot of internal struggles that I've been through that most people don't know about. The bandaids on the outside of the bottom drawer show some of the hurts I've had in past that have had to be fixed. In all levels, I put bandaids to represent that I consider myself a compassionate person who likes to help people (this is also true in my RA work...it would have to be, or I would have quit a long time ago!) :) I think that's it!!

(question 6)Please explain how you used ideas from the resources on the self we studied. Did you consciously use ideas from or react to any of the following resources in your self-portrait: the psychological theories of self? The Rilke discussion of "faces," "hands," or "costumes"? The Asian views of the self? The examples from art of non-representational self-portraits? Please clearly explain what ideas from these sources you integrated into your self-portrait and why.

I think I ended up using a lot of the "faces" that Rilke talked about the three different levels of my self-portrait had similar things in them, but they represented totally different sides of myself that different people see.

(question 7) In what ways do these different disciplinary resources agree with one another on the question of what is the self?

All of the resources that we discussed base self-expression on personal views, beliefs, and perceptions about the world around us. For many, we convey our "self" to others the way we think they would want us to. For others, our "self" is determined by the supernatural forces and the norms and values of our society.

(question 8) In what ways do they conflict with each other on the question of what is the self?

I think sometimes that our true self is covered up by society--we aren't our self, but how someone portrays us or expects us to be. That conflicts with the Asian views of self, who believe that we are to work out our own self-views regardless of our surroundings.

(question 9) Does your self-portrait try to reconcile these ideas or did you choose a particular postion to convey? Why?

I think I included a bit of all the stuff we discussed in it...I had who I truly am at the bottom regardless of what other people want, but at the top and middle levels, there was a part of that which was reflective of what others want and expect from me.

(question 11) In our unit on the self, is there a right answer to the question of what the self is? If not, what is your reaction to our inability to provide a clear answer one way or the other on this issue?

I don't think there's a clearcut answer to the question of "what is self"....it can't really be explained or defined in terms that we can discuss and conclude on. It's kind of sad that we can't say exactly what our selves are however, it's intriguing to me that I find out more about who I am every day as I change, grow, and experience the world around me.

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