Student 5

There are many theories of the self that have been studied in this course. The psychological theories of Freud and Jung, Asian views of the self through Hinduism, and the notion of art as self-expression through art and music during the Romantic period are all different and unique methods that are used to explore and describe the self. These ideas of the self, along with many other symbolic techniques, were used to ultimately create a self-portrait that best defines my inner self and who I am.

Freud believes the self is the reflection of what goes on inside our bodies. The deep inner emotions and feelings inside our bodies are responsible for the words we say and the actions we do. Freud divides the mind into three components. The Id is the part of the mind that is responsible for our "animal" instincts and bizarre behaviors. The Super Ego is our conscience; it contains all of the morals a person has. Lastly, the Ego is the decision-maker. The Ego is the central unit that acts as the executive. The Ego is constantly deciding whether or not to listen to the Id or to the Super Ego. A good example of these three components in action is to visualize a devil, the Id, sitting on one shoulder and an angel, the Super Ego, sitting on the other. The person in the middle, the Ego, has to decide which one to listen to to determine the outcome of a situation. In the story "Hands: A Childhood Experience," the main character's Ego has a difficult time determining whether to listen to the Id or to the Super Ego. This creates a great amount of confusion that causes the boy to suffer the consequences of regression. Toward the end of the story the boy believes he sees a hand in front of him while he is on the floor searching for a crayon. The hand the boy thinks he sees is only a hallucination from the emotions and feelings he has pushed deep down inside of himself and will not let out.

Jung believes the self is balanced, complete, and whole. The self can be seen as a circle. The Jungian self can be expressed through various symbols, the main one being the mandala, a magic circle that represents unity. The self is the center and the mid-point of personality. For Jung, the self is one's goal in life and it causes us to seek wholeness through a spiritual journey. Jung uses physics principles to explain psychic energies. He believes the conscience is a science. Extraversion and Introversion are two major attitudes of the personality and can allow us to examine our balance in life. Extraversion is associated with the external world while Introversion is associated with the inner world. The story "Faces" analyzes a scene of a poor woman who struggles to hide her identity from everyone. She constantly changes her face so she will one day be accepted by society. This story is about an introvert, the poor lady, struggling to become an extrovert.

Asian views of the self, such as Hinduism, include various spiritual concepts. Hinduism is an intuitive approach to describe life and the self. Hindus refer to the self and the eternal soul as the Atman. Also, the Atman represents unity with the divine. Hindus believe everyone has an Atman and that the Atman has always existed and will always exist. The main idea of Hinduism is everyone has a duty, Dharma, to fulfill during his or her lifetime. Karma is the consequences of the actions a Hindu may receive for poorly executing their Dharma. The better a Hindu performs their duty the less Karma they receive. If a Hindu has no Karma he or she becomes totally Brahman. When a Hindu is reincarnated, referred to as Samsara, the form of life they receive is dictated by how well they lived their life. Hindus believe from destruction comes new life. They see life as a constant cycle. Everything is born, then destroyed, then born again.

Romanticism in art emphasizes mostly on atmosphere, both physically and emotionally. The art of the Romantic period contains a lot of emotion, imagination, and intuition. The colors used consist of deep, rich shades and the use of strong light and shade contrasts is very common. Paintings usually contained scenes of heroic struggle, nature, sublime landscapes, and wild animals. The Raft of the Medusa, 1819, by Theodore Gericault, is a wonderful example of Romantic art. The painting takes place in a wild ocean. The waves are violent and the wind is blowing viciously. In the front of the painting is a raft with several men aboard. The wind and waves throw many of the passengers off into the water. The colors are very dark and rich and there are a lot of light and shade contrasts present. The scene is very emotional and exciting because the men on the boat and the raft itself are pointed up in a diagonal line which is a technique used during this time to create great motion and suspense. Another example of Romantic art is The Wreck of the Hope (Polar sea), 1824, by Caspar David Friedrich. This painting shows a sinking boat in the exotic Arctic Sea. "Nature won" is the theme of this painting. Again, the use of diagonal lines is used to capture the intense moment of the boat about to be completely submerged underwater.

Romantic music broke the classical mold bringing forth a whole new meaning to music and, most importantly, self-expression. Music during this period contained drastic contrasts in range, tone, rhythm, texture, and melody. Composers constantly thought of new techniques to expand their talents and to explore new styles of music. Composers saw music as the perfect tool to express themselves to the world. Diagonal lines were also used in Romantic music to create suspense, excitement, and to display emotion. Individualism became an important theme during this period. Brahms, a popular composer during this period, explored the many aspects of Individualism by composing numerous pieces of highly detailed and complicated works of music. His Piano Concerto #2 is a fast moving, high paced piece of work. It possesses a very thick texture and melody. The ranges of this piece are constantly venturing up to the highest note possible down to the lowest note possible creating a very exciting and suspenseful feeling. This is an example of the use of diagonal lines in music. It is also used to symbolize the composer's emotions to the listener. Liszt, another composer of this time, took Individualism to the extreme by composing The Transcendental Etudes. This work is so complicated that Liszt is the only one who can perform it. Many people may argue that this piece of music is not the best sounding in the world but it definitely can be considered a masterpiece because of all the skill, time, and effort that went into making it. This piece, like Brahms', contains a number of range and texture contrasts. Great pianists today cannot duplicate many of Liszt's works.

All three of the theories mentioned above are examples of how the self can be expressed. Freud and Jung use a psychological approach to define the self, Hinduism explains how Hindus journey through a spiritual destination to reach total Brahman, and Romanticism explains how the self can be expressed through art and music. Although each theory has a different approach, they are all centralized around the identical concept of self-realization and self-expression.

The portrait I created reflects exactly how I see myself. I made it using a variety of the theories we have discussed in class. Color, line, shape, and texture, the psychological theories of Freud and Jung, Hinduism, and some ideas of the Romantic period are present in my self-portrait.

My portrait consists of two heads whose faces are looking in opposite directions of each other. The heads are placed on the center of a circular board. Each head represents it's own side of the circular platform. One face is white with yellow triangles over the eyes and the other face is black with brown archetypal crosses over the eyes. The side of the circle that contains the black head has a base covered in rough sandpaper, two black spirals pointing up, a black arm without a hand reaching out, and four rocks surrounding the arm. The side with the white head has a base that is covered with white cotton balls, two silver reflective spirals pointing up, and a flesh colored arm with a hand reaching out. I arranged this portrait in the way that I did because I feel it best represents how I view myself.

I chose two heads because through Hinduism, the head symbolizes the mind and knowledge. The more heads someone has the more knowledge they have. Also, I feel that everyone else, especially myself, have more than one face. My white face is the side of me that people see the most. The white face represents my soft, gentle, and caring side. It explains my happy outlook on life and my constant need to help others and to have others help me. The triangles over the eyes symbolize my relationships with others and my ongoing journey to obtain a balance in all parts of my life. The base covered with cotton balls represents my warm fuzzy cover that I wear most of the time. As one can see, the cotton balls make up the surface of the board. This informs people that I am not soft and happy throughout. From a Jungian view, I can change covers just like changing faces. The flesh colored arm reaching out is the hand I give to others when they need help. Also, the open hand represents me asking others for help when I am in need. The reflective spirals show two things. One, I reflect the world around me. When others are happy, I am too. Second, the spiral shape symbolizes the constant existence of this white face inside me.

My black face is the side of me that others rarely see. I get frightened at times when I wear this face. I chose the colors black and brown to create dark, isolated, and angry feelings. This face is my opaque face. No one knows what I am thinking or feeling when I wear this face. I wear this face under certain situations when I feel like no one understands me. Sometimes I wear it when I am depressed or when I am mad at the world. The crosses express the times of difficult decisions and hard choices I face when I am in this state. The rough abrasive sandpaper and hard cold rocks symbolize my rejection and isolation from society and others. The jagged pieces of sandpaper express my angry, violent, and complicated state of mind. No one is allowed in when I wear the black face. The black arm without a hand reaches out to no one. I neither give nor receive help from anyone. There is no hand to hold on to. In Freudian terms, I repress all emotions deep inside. I let everything build up and boil over. Similarly, the black spirals represent the ongoing existence of this face inside of me.

Both heads and faces are placed in the center of a circular board to represent their unity. Circles express wholeness and centered-ness. The faces are both very different from each other, yet they make up one person, me. The spirals that are made up of both black and reflective material represent the transition from one face to the other. Also, these spirals reflect the idea of the yin-yang. The times when I am wearing my white face there is always a small portion of the black face existent and vice versa.

Through these various theories of self I constructed a self-portrait that conveys how I see myself. My portrait reflects the Romantic idea of Individualism in the sense that the portrait corresponds to me perfectly and no one else. Many others may be able to relate to my portrait but I feel it best describes me and who I really am. The ideas of Freud and Jung, Hinduism, self-expression through the art and music of the Romantic period, and the symbolic meanings behind color, line, shape, and texture were all combined to create my self-portrait.