Student 9

May. 2, 2000

We have studied several different views of the "self" in our class. The view that I disagree with most is Freud's. As a doctor and a philosopher, Freud charted how the mind affected the body in forms of mental illness and he wanted to find ways to cure those illnesses. Freud believed that his theories about how the mind worked would uncover some basic truths about how an individual self is formed. Freud's sublimation refers to taking desires that can't or shouldn't be fulfilled and turning their energy into something useful and productive. Repression is when desires that can't be fulfilled are packed into a particular place in the mind or the unconscious. Many of Freud's principles involve sexual inclinations and egotistical views. Freud also referred to the three basic components of the mind, which are the id, the ego, and the superego.

Jung believes that the "self" is total unity and is central: all systems are held together by the "self". The goal in life is to reach the "self" and seek wholeness. Jung's view of the "self" includes introversion and extraversion. He believes that all people contain both but refer to the more dominant trait. To become more whole a person must balance their extraversion and introversion. Sensing and intuiting, and thinking and feeling are the four functions that can help one reach their "self".

In Rilke's essays he focuses on the "faces" people have. His claims of people having many faces prove to be true in certain situations. There is a time and a place for every face we hide. He believes that once people wear a "face" out, they either change to another one or have to live the rest of their lives with a worn-out, dirty face. He chooses to not look deep into the faces around him for fear of what he might see. Rilke also chooses to shy away from the underlying meaning below the face. What he might see scares him more than what he already knows.

The Hinduists believe greatly in reincarnation. They feel that until you perfect the life and "self" you are given you will be reborn into different life forms to try and perfect those "selves". In Hinduism, everyone is free to follow his or her own paths and conscience. They can reach their "self" any way they choose. If they choose wrong, they are reincarnated to another form to try again. This way of life is based less on religion and more on the "self" as a way to worship or ritualize. The totality of all living things is emphasized on the one supreme God, Brahman. Values and lifestyle are regarded as the only way to escape reincarnation and living lives over and over.

The Romantic Period showed extreme examples of self-expression. It was a very passionate and spontaneous time in the history of art. Romantics painted and composed music expressing their nationalism and patriotism to separate themselves from other people and countries. Each piece of work represented their deep feelings of love, hate, peace, and patriotism.

For my self-portrait I chose to use a puzzle. My life, like so many other people's lives, is exactly that: a puzzle that is slowly being put together. Piece by piece events in my life help form my personality and inner-self. I'm not sure yet how some of the pieces in my life fit together. There are some pieces in my self-portrait that I purposely left blank to leave room for things yet to come. I don't know what my future holds for me. Each individual piece represents why I am the way I am.

Each puzzle piece is a different shape and size. The bigger pieces represent important or significant events in my life. The smaller pieces are hopes and dreams that I hope to one day accomplish. They are also things that do not affect my life or overwhelm me with worries or stress. The textures are mostly smooth because I know that I cannot change the pieces in my puzzle; I can only rearrange them.

The first piece to my puzzle is a reflective mirror representing my happiness when others around me are pleasant and serene. Sometimes my personality reflects those around me. I am sad when people I care for are unhappy, and vice versa. A piece with blue vertical lines implicates my job. It is very stable and predictable. A triangular piece with pink hearts is my relationship with my long-term, long-distance boyfriend. He helps to balance my life by taking the stress out of my life. Our time together is very comfortable and relaxing.

Horseback riding is one of my hobbies and I included a puzzle piece with two of our horses on it. A circle covered with a blue sky misted with clouds shows my feelings of unity and wholeness. When everything is going good with my family and friends I relate to this circle. I enjoy exercising and working out so I chose a bright blue puzzle piece to portray my energy and motivation. A square including a pretty cottage with a green yard represents the stability I hope to one day achieve in my life. This also coincides with my dreams of settling down in a nice, quiet neighborhood. I chose a shiny spiral to show the reflection of my growth from high school to college. A piece covered with spirals, hearts, and flowers shows that even rough times, I can be completely peaceful and happy with my life and myself.

Not all of my puzzle pieces are positive. One negative piece is blue with an oval hole through the middle. This piece is a sad part of my life relating to my two little sisters: Chelsea, 4 and Mariah 3. When I am away at college, there is a hole in my life where they should be. Another piece is crimson red or maroon and it represents dorm life. Problems with my roommate and the uncomfortable factors of living on campus can be shown by the dark red color. A cross with black chaotic lines is from a time of trouble and sorrow in my life. Another dark puzzle piece with wavy, crazy designs refers to stressful studying time and worrisome schoolwork. A piece with a light bluish-purple background and splotches of other colors represents my relationship with my mother. We are just like sisters and tend to fight like it. When we get along, it's wonderful; When we don't it's like a natural disaster. The colors aren't too dark, though, because mostly our arguing leads to a good conclusion.

A repetitive, balanced piece of my puzzle represents the many moves throughout my life. Moving from house to house and town to town has always been a consistency in my life. This is kind of ironic that we never stayed in one place but consistently moved instead. A jagged piece refers to times in my life when I am disappointed and angry with myself. This piece could be from any bad experience or suffering I have brought on myself.

My self-portrait doesn't really coincide completely with any of the "self" concepts we've studied. I do, however, believe in the faces people wear. I, myself, sometimes tend to put on an appropriate face at times when I don't feel like pretending. It is natural for a person to play the role necessary to complete a task or get through a difficult time. I also believe in the extraversion/introversion concept of Jung. Some of my puzzle pieces represent my introversional thoughts and feelings while others openly show my extraversional traits.