World Civilization
to 1550 C.E.

World Civilization
1550 to the present

World Civilization Interactive Journey

HIST 4130/5130
The Middle Ages

HIST 4950/5950
Medieval Monasticism

HIST 4140/5140
Renaissance and
Reformation

HIST 4280/5280:
Intellectual and
Cultural History
of Europe
to 1500 C.E.

HIST 4285/5285:
Intellectual and
Cultural History
of Europe
since 1500 C.E.

IDST 2310:
The Fine and
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in Civilization

IDST 2205:
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Sample Writing Problems:
A Poorly Written Essay

This is an example of a very poorly written essay. Be sure to check the list of pointers at the end of the file so that you can avoid making the same mistakes.

Discuss the events which led to the conversion of Constantine, its nature and the impact of his treatment of the church on the church/state relationship which characterized the Middle Ages. Specifically, what role did the heresies play in the development of Constantine's control of the Church and in the relationship between the church and state?

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Constantine converted to Christianity at the Battle of Milvian Bridge. (NO DATE) He saw a sign in the sky. (WHAT SIGN, WHAT DID IT MEAN?) Then he issued the Edict of Milan which made Christianity legal. (NO DATE, OTHER PROVISION) He thought his power depended on his protection of the Christian faith. (WHY?) So when heresies arose, he stamped them out. Like the Donatist heresy and the Arian heresy. The Donatists did not want anyone who was not perfect to be a priest or bishop (HOW DID THE HERESY BEGIN? WHO WERE THE PARTIES INVOLVED, WHAT WERE THEY CALLED AND WHAT DID THEY BELIEVE AND WHY?) and the Arians thought that Christ was simply a creature (WHY? WHAT DID HE SAY EXACTLY? WHAT WERE THE PROBLEMS WITH SUCH A VIEW?). Constantine abolished both of them. (WHY? AND HOW? COUNCILS?) So he was the head of the church (WHAT IS THE WORD FOR THIS FORM OF GOVERNMENT?), and in the Middle Ages,the Church and the state were close together. (EXAMPLES)

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This is an example of an essay which makes all the relevant points, yet is very weak in overall content.

This is a poor essay because:

1. no dates.

2. mentions IMPORTANT events and does not explain them -- compare the sections on the Donatist and Arian heresies above.

3. incomplete definition of Edict of Milan -- compare definition in first essay.

4. Does not tell the full story -- compare account of Constantine's conversion and his treatment of the heresies to the essay above.

5. Does not explain WHY Constantine was seen as the head of the Church, nor WHY his actions had such an impact on future church/state relations, nor HOW those relations were expressed in the later Middle Ages (compare sections on Theodosian Code above).